So I guess when you have a great thing going, you have this natural inclination to go and hack it to pieces.
Since he got back I've been terribly depressed, but I don't let it show. I cook for him. I let him sleep in all day. He might get up to eat and play on his computer and then go to bed at which I schooled myself into the mood for his wifely needs and things have been great so far, except yesterday he woke up and said he was going to do errands. That was at 10am.
Since he got back I've been terribly depressed, but I don't let it show. I cook for him. I let him sleep in all day. He might get up to eat and play on his computer and then go to bed at which I schooled myself into the mood for his wifely needs and things have been great so far, except yesterday he woke up and said he was going to do errands. That was at 10am.
He called at around 9pm lastnight saying he was out playing a few games and didn't realize the time had flew by so fast. So I'm thinking, well I'm glad he gets time of to enjoy since he was away working so long. He asked me when I was going to bed, I said around 11pm or so, he said ok, by the time I'm there you'll probably be asleep. UM NO I WONT. He said I love you (weird) and talk to you soon.
That soon turned into 1am at which point I was so exhausted I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I remember wondering why did he sound so chipper as if he wanted me to believe everything was alright. And I just had a feeling that something was odd. I had a feeling what it was.
So at 1am I called him again. No answer. I tried again and he answered. I said, I thought you were coming home two hrs ago. It doesn't take that long to drive from New Iberia. What are you doing and WHERE ARE YOU? He said he was playing some black jacks or poker or something and for some reason it didn't surprise me at all.
So I ask. Are you at a casino? Yes.
Why are you at a casino Jonathan? = I can't answer that.
I repeated the question and it was the same answer.
So I said, goodnight and hung up the phone.
I'm not sure I feel anything. But I know me and something is there and I hope it doesn't turns into rabid anger or more depression.
This is not the first time he has lied to me about going to the casino.
When we first got married, he got us in debt up to our eyes and took us years to dig out.
And here is the man, wasting our money again.
I can't even pray.
Sigh.
I don't know what to do.
I feel like I need to start thinking seirously about going back to school so I can be able to work and support myself and such if it comes to nub.
Anyway. I just wanted to get it out of me.
That soon turned into 1am at which point I was so exhausted I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I remember wondering why did he sound so chipper as if he wanted me to believe everything was alright. And I just had a feeling that something was odd. I had a feeling what it was.
So at 1am I called him again. No answer. I tried again and he answered. I said, I thought you were coming home two hrs ago. It doesn't take that long to drive from New Iberia. What are you doing and WHERE ARE YOU? He said he was playing some black jacks or poker or something and for some reason it didn't surprise me at all.
So I ask. Are you at a casino? Yes.
Why are you at a casino Jonathan? = I can't answer that.
I repeated the question and it was the same answer.
So I said, goodnight and hung up the phone.
I'm not sure I feel anything. But I know me and something is there and I hope it doesn't turns into rabid anger or more depression.
This is not the first time he has lied to me about going to the casino.
When we first got married, he got us in debt up to our eyes and took us years to dig out.
And here is the man, wasting our money again.
I can't even pray.
Sigh.
I don't know what to do.
I feel like I need to start thinking seirously about going back to school so I can be able to work and support myself and such if it comes to nub.
Anyway. I just wanted to get it out of me.
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