24hr missing

He has been away from home 24hrs now. He didn't tell me when he left, where he was going or nada. 

He has not called. 

Such a wonderful husband. 

I'm home and think I should go get something for my kids at a thrift shop. After all if he can go gamble away all we don't have, then surely I can get necessaries for the children without feeling an anxiety attack. 

Alas I can't go. My son is still sick. Has been for four days now and I'm the only one here cleaning up poop and vomit. 

At 2am lastnight he threw up again. So couldn't send him to school today. 

Poor baby 

The children always asking for daddy. When he was away working I could give valid reasons why he wasn't come. 

Now I don't even answer anymore. I just distract them or tell them to pray for daddy. 

I feel lost and vulnerable. 

No woman should ever be in this position. 

What did I do to deserve this? That's the question that made me cry at 3am lastnight.