I'm sitting here wrapping Christmas presents for the kids and the man and I'm so terribly sad. Today ...rather this evening/night we had a terrible argument.
He asks why I had not cleaned the air vent and I told him, it usually take me an hr or two and I don't want to do it now, but I'd do it.
It was really yucky and needed cleaning. It hadn't been cleaned since I last cleaned it and I remember how hard that was to do.
It would have been easier for him to do since he is so much taller than me.
The evening started out with him waking up at 5pm. Yes he slept all day while as usual I'm up with the kids doing the daily stuff. I don't know how as a father his conscience makes him sleep all day. But that's the norm around here and now I don't even get angry about it anymore.
He woke up, stalking around the house wanting to suddenly change lightbulbs, walking on the carpet with his nasty shoes. He knows I HATE shoes on my carpet! HATE it. I play around on our carpet with the kids and I don't think shoes should be on it. I don't think shoes should be worn in the home period. It's nasty. The dirty shoes you wear outside and step in all sort of crap should NEVER come into your home!
He mentioned that my not wanting shoes in the carpet is getting old. I reacted. I told him that we play and sit and roll around on our carpet and nasty shoes, should not be on it. He said it was a matter of cleaning the carpet then. I told him no. It's a matter of not wearing the shoes in the house in the first place because it's nasty!
He went on stomping around wanting to fix the outside light and etc. Bear in mind. It's been two days now since I told him about the light being out. Why on earth is he waking up at 5pm acting like it's top of the morning to change lightbulbs is beyond me.
He eventually left for the store and I asked if he could pick up something to eat.
After he left, I went to clean the air vent, thinking that I'd have it cleaned and surprise him when he got back.
I couldn't open the ladder, so I just leaned it against the wall.
He came in and saw the ladder against the wall and went off. I got down and said, ok, you fix it so I can finish. I was so upset that I started to cry. And I was trying hard to count to ten so that I wouldn't get angry. During this time he kept demanding that I come look at how to open the ladder. I was still counting , hoping to calm down.
I eventually said, ok, I am sorry I'm a moron and can't do anything to please you. He said, well the wall is important and you should know not to lean a ladder against it because it's sheet rock and it will damage easy. I told him, I didn't know anything about the wall like that and didn't think it would damage it because people lean ladders against walls all the time. He asked me what people? If it was the people in my country. I said yes.
I told him I didn't know how to open the ladder and just wanted to clean the vent so he would stop talking about it and it would be clean.
He said well the instructions are on the ladder and of course it was an argument and I quipped maybe I can't read and he said, well let your kids read it to you.
My children are age 3 and 5 and read very well because I've taught them. I alone have taught them.
I said, sure, when they are older, they will love to take care of their mother.
He then took the ladder back to the garage, muttering that I was pissing him off, came back and tried to close the vent.
I went out and I looked him dead in the eye and I said with as much venom as was felt inside me, if you put that fucking vent up. I will take it down and clean it. and if you put it up 10 times I will take it down and if you keep doing it, I'll bring the hose inside this house and spray wash that crap.
Our daughter was right there, he grabbed her and swat her bottom, saying he told her to go in the other room and then asked my why was I being so foul. I told him I did not care.
So I used a spin chair to stand on and cleaned the vent and then stood on the bin to put it back up after I was done.
He was around for a bit and then left as I was vacuuming the carpet.
It's 1:30am and he isn't back. I'm sure he feels lots better not being around me.
I'm also sure he wont be back until maybe 3 or 4am...
at 10pm I tried calling him because I needed meds for my son who was burning up with fever. there was no answer.
I had to wake my 3 yr old up and took my 5yr old and jump in the vehicle to go get meds for my son.
Even if he had answered...so many hrs later, my son would still be here waiting on this medicine.
This is one of the times when I just hate my life.
Hate that I feel trapped.
Of course it's hard to type all that happened, but that is basically my marriage for you.
